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The Charmingly Comical Cad and his Collection of Classic Cinema Critiques

David - the Secretive Bus

19 December
External Services:
  • secretive_bus@livejournal.com
Hello, I'm the Secretive Bus.

Now, I could spend ages talking about how I created this name for meself - but I've told the story hundreds upon hundreds of times, so I'm going to invent a new one.

An ice cream man hopped up to me and said "Would you like a bank statement?" Understandably, this threw me a bit, specifically into a restaurant, whereupon I stood up, bowed, stood up again, bowed again, and attempted to smuggle myself out. The ensuing activities made the patrons call out "Good God, he's jolly secretive!" The head waiter turned round in astonishment, dropping a cuttlefish as a result, and blurted "Sort of like a bus!"


I'm English, y'know. Vaguely. I try to amuse terribly nice ladies with my impeccable English wit. Or I can fall over and make them laugh that way instead. Whichever works best. Taking a lady's hand and kissing it is good fun too, so long as you give it back to her afterwards.